Birthing plan
We all know that to some extent, all expecting mothers have a birth plan in place. It might be a very long and detailed plan, or it might be a simple I MUST GET EPIDURAL type of plan. But if you are pregnant during a pandemic, your expectations may change a little bit. Something like, “I-want-my-support-person-to-be-with-me-during-my-entire-hospital-stay” was never really part of your birthing plan because it was a given. At least, it is in this 21st century. Heck, I remember there were many times when I was visiting those who gave birth and in the recovery room, it was always a room full of people and almost everybody was able to hold the new baby. Nurses would give us looks hinting that it’s time to go, while it felt like there were an endless amount of people coming by to visit. Now, with the pandemic, your support person may not even be allowed to come in or stay for the entire duration of your hospital stay! Times sure have changed. And visitors? What visitors?!?
Hospital policy
Weeks leading to my delivery, I was so afraid that my husband would not be able to stay with me after I gave birth. You see, the month before I gave birth, the support person had to leave after 2 hours of delivery. Thank God, just a couple of weeks before I gave birth, they changed the policy and allowed one support person to stay for the entire duration of the hospital stay. Half of my birth plan was going according to plan!
Other rules the hospital had in place during my time at the hospital were: we were not allowed to bring in outside food other than what was downstairs in the hospital, you had to wear a mask when you are outside of your room, and we had to limit going in and out of the hospital. Going in and out of the hospital was very important to us as my husband had to leave to rescue our father a few times with our two years old. She was never away from us this long and grandpa had never watched her alone for this long. Not to mention, we missed her so much and were very sad that she was not able to meet her sister for the first time at the hospital. To top everything off, I ended up having to stay at the hospital for four days. It was four gruesome days of physical and emotional pain.
When I arrived at the hospital, they had a list of screening questions for me to answer before I could go in. One of them was, do you have any stomach pain. That one made me chuckle. I responded yes to stomach pains and the security guard asked, “Are they only contractions?” I sure hope so! I don’t really remember what I said but I was able to pass through. And luckily, I’ve done this before, so I was pretty sure I knew what it was. I can’t say the same for all women who had to get screened in before being allowed to the labour and assessment unit.
When you finally get inside the hospital
They did not allow my husband to come to the labour and assessment unit, and they told my husband to wait until I get admitted and have a room before he could come with me. Again, luckily, this was my second birth at that hospital, and I knew where I was going. This hospital does not do hospital tours (even pre-pandemic) so it was a good thing I knew my way around there from the last time. I also knew what to expect and wasn’t afraid to go through this alone, but if this was my first baby, I would be sweating buckets.
I went in and everything went according to plan. The nurse took a bit longer to examine me while I moaned and groaned in agony on the bed, but nothing unusual happened. And then they checked to see how far along I have been dilating. I was already almost 7 cm! Eek! At that point, they finally admitted me and gave me a room number which I accidentally texted to my sister (she was the last person I was texting that day). I sent multiple texts later freaking out on her, thinking that I had texted my husband instead, wondering why it was taking him so long to come. When she responded back, I realized that I was the idiot texting the wrong person all that time.
And then my husband finally arrived, with a coffee in his hand and not an urgent worry in the world. I eagerly lay on the hospital bed and excitedly asked each person that came into my room if they were the anesthesiologist. I was told a disappointing “no” each time for the first hour. And there were a lot of people coming in and out of my room. My “birth plan” was that I wanted an epidural and I wanted my husband to stay with me. At 7 cm, I thought half of my plan was not working out! I always hear horror stories of people not being able to get an anesthesiologist on time or when they finally got it, it was too late, and they still felt everything. Well, I am happy to say that I was not one of those people!
And then I was also lucky to get a covid test while I was in between contractions. The hospital procedure at the time was to test every patient for covid when they are admitted. Apparently, the support person did not need to be tested. I groaned at the fact that I did not get the epidural first, but I guess it’s not like the epidural would have numbed my face.
The anesthesiologist came shortly after the covid test and only then did everything seem to go into place. It was just like my first labour; everything was going exactly like how it should. Nothing unusual, baby kept cooperating, and the labour part was fast. Nurses and doctors always commented on how great I was doing and how fast everything was. But, just like my first birth, it was the recovery part where my body did not seem to do well on. It seemed to hate the fact that I pushed a baby out each time and then tries to punish me for it afterwards.
My recovery
My recovery was so bad; I was at the hospital for four days. I was rushed to the OR, incubated and operated on. Before I was put under, one of the main concerns was whether they got my covid test results back yet. This was asked, discussed, followed up with at the lab multiple times before I was put to sleep. As I was counting back down from 10, the nurses repeated that they do not have my covid results yet. The last thing I heard before I was put under was, “N95 masks everyone”.
I couldn’t get out of bed for the first night and was forced to get up and move around in case of blood clots on the second day, after a blood transfusion. I asked the nurse how I would have managed to do this if my husband was not allowed to stay. The nurse told me that when the hospital did not allow the support person to stay, the mothers just pushed the button for the nurses often and held their baby most of the time, even when they were sleeping.
8 Tips for expectant mothers when considering a “birthing plan” during a pandemic
Based on my hospital stay, I made a few things I think expectant mothers could expect listed below when preparing a birthing plan. But keep in mind that this all depends on the covid numbers, where you live, and the hospital’s policy. It can be totally different for different places and times.
1. Have a realistic birth plan.
What I mean by that is, you can lay out what you want to happen but just be really prepared and know that it may not happen as planned. I know we all already know this, with unexpected c-sections and scary outcomes, but with a pandemic, you are even in less control and there are more uncertainties. You can think of a backup plan as well in the event something you don’t plan to happen happens; like your partner cannot stay with you. What do you want to do? Maybe Facetime. Maybe have a massager or something comforting to bring with you. One piece of advice I have is that there may be a lot of different nurses scheduled to take care of you, and many, if not all, are available and willing to help. They know that this is a difficult time for recovering mothers. Try not to worry too much if you are going to be alone. Because the honest truth is that you will not be alone. You will have a team of nurses who are willing and available to help you. I know this is so much easier said than done, but it might be comforting to think about during uncertain times.
2. Don’t get too stressed-out planning.
Try not to worry about hospital policies and support persons and visitors as much as you can. Rules change all the time, and it won’t matter what it is until you are very close to the date. They literally can change the rule the day you give birth! I know it’s easier said than done, especially having gone through this, but there is no need to fret before it is time.
3. They will likely have “no visitors allowed” in place.
It is actually quite nice that they do not allow visitors as it was much calmer and more restful after giving birth. You can do video calls with others if you really want them to see your new bundle of joy. Eventually, they will be able to see your baby in person when it is safe to do so. I personally really appreciated that visitors were not allowed to come. The only downfall was that my daughter was not able to visit us at the hospital.
4. For me, it was mandatory to wear masks only when you are outside your hospital room.
They allow the mothers to take off the mask while they are in labour and when they are in their own room. They ask that you put on a mask when you leave the room. I find it helpful especially when you are in labour and trying to breathe to calm your contractions. The mask would have severely annoyed me. Plus, at one point, I needed an oxygen mask so I do not think wearing a mask would have been a good idea during labour. Of course, this was the hospital rule at my hospital during my stay. It could be different at different hospitals.
5. Think of the nurses.
All the nurses were so great, from giving birth to helping me recover. I know this is not pandemic related, but, if possible, have your support person keep a list of names of the nurses and doctors helping you (especially the ones who really helped you). There is a massive number of people coming in and out of your room and it’s incredibly hard to remember them all; especially when everyone is wearing masks; you can’t see their face and it just makes it more difficult to remember their names. At the end of my hospital stay, my husband asked for a list of names who helped looked after me from one of the nurses. He bought a gift basket and gift cards from Tim Hortons (the only place they allowed us to buy food downstairs) for the nurses who helped me and who were on shift that night.
6. Think of food and snacks!
I know this is something we should be doing already pre-pandemic, but now with the pandemic, it is more important to think about what food to pack. Some hospitals do not allow you to come back if your partner leaves or they do not allow outside food at all. It is important to think about what kind of food/snacks you should pack that will not need to be refrigerated. You can ask to see if you could use a fridge there, but I don’t think that is something you would want to do during a pandemic.
7. Join Facebook groups in the region of your hospital to check for updates on hospital visits and their experiences.
You should be updated on the hospital policy by your OB’s office, but it can be helpful to also hear from other people’s recent experiences of their hospital stay. Members in the Facebook group may mention their experiences at the same hospital you are going to or hospitals that are in your region.
8. You can consider getting a gift from the new baby.
This might seem silly and may be unnecessary for some, but I think a nice small little gift from the new baby to their older sibling(s) can be a nice gesture to remind your older kid(s) that they are not forgotten and that they are also important. You should have this gift ready before you come back home from the hospital and before your older kid(s) get to meet the new baby. For the new baby, in the beginning, they will be receiving a lot of presents from everybody. I think a gift for your older kid(s) would help them feel included and not as left out. It could be small or even homemade, but I think this would be a nice gesture to consider. Obviously, this is also dependent on how old your older child(ren) is/are. If they are much older, they will unlikely care for a gift as much as the younger ones would.
I am sure there could be more to consider, or some may not be relevant to you, as the hospital’s policy could be different. This list is just to name a few things to consider when planning your hospital visit during a pandemic with some lockdown restrictions. Consider this as practice for momming in life during a pandemic: more things are out of your control now and more things to worry about. Having a baby during a pandemic is definitely not easy but definitely, a time to be creative and to remember.
